To Berry: Later That Night

Relieved to have my statistics homework done, I decided to drive to my sister's house that night to engage in some honky tonk bar action that only lower Alabama could supply. Upon arrival she distracted me with Bud Lights so she could finish getting ready.  I rummaged her nail polish collection to further occupy myself, stumbling upon the perfect selection:

 Kismet! I enjoyed my beer while  Regina Spektor blared through my sister's stereo speakers, I couldn't resist the thought ' Tiffany Berry Delicious now there's a saucy name.  Hair and nails being complete we ventured off to our favorite dive bar.  

This specific bar, usually composed of:  Shots of buttery nipples, random weirdos, a mediocre band, and that one bartender whom never got our jokes. But this noteworthy evening I ran into a surprise in the ladies room.

Disbelieving the stack of cash laying beside the garbage can, I scooped it up.  Walking out to my sister, as she describes in  Blonde and Blonder  pronouncing my findings, we both decided the 'Avon Lady must be located. 

Conjuring up the perfect solution, we write Colleen's phone number on a napkin, hand it over to the bartender (who unmistakably has zero sense of humor) asking her to have Avon Lady (if she can prove herself as so) Give the number we jotted down on the napkin 'a call. This bartender being a perfectionist of sorts asks for a name to go along with the number. Excited to put my new alias to use I write down Tiffany Berry.

Vowing to one another as we made a pit-stop at another bar followed by the McDonald's drive-thru:  If the Avon Lady finds us, we're definitely paying her back in full!  This is just an unexpected loan. 

Colleen, the following week, was taken by surprise checking her voice-mail after work one night  (the thickest southern accent possible) "Hi Ms. Berry this is Karla, I work for Avon..." 

Colleen, being the selfless humanitarian socialist patriot, she is met her at the Wall-mart to repay our debt, replacing the scribbled I.O.U's with actual cash.  And probably placing an order for her favorite Avon eye-shadow.